Fatale

An Earth shattering scream pierces the crisp morning air.

The girl who got shot rambling about summer and life

Summer always kicks off with a blast :-) my birthday, sunshine, lakes, fun times!

It was really good for me to get a couple weeks by myself. Not that I don't love him being around but there's something amazing about having my own personal space that has nothing to do with anyone else but me. Being able to just decompress by myself as myself without hindrance of any kind is absolutely fantastic!

Bumping my music all night, going out and having drinks with friends, walks and random adventures, puppy play time, none of that 'what's for dinner' conversation, get cute or PJs all day... Who cares? ... Not on any schedule, no worries, bed all to myself! I love me time!

However... Without him around it gets rather, quite boring, I must say. So a couple of weeks is OK.. But I wouldn't want it any longer than that because seriously he's my adventure buddy!

Heading to the ocean this weekend for Pirate Days!!!! Can't wait to see the puppies dressed up like Pirate's (my favorite part) they're seriously adorable in their little costumes!

Well.. Let's see, what else has been going???? Accrued a horrid sunburn by chillaxin on a float at the lake for hours. Totally worth it ;-) ... Unfortunately I've been having panic attacks more often, kinda sucks but what can you do? I've been shot up, it's part of my life. I'm just trying to have as much fun as possible to distract myself from my own worries about him being out early. Like, I seriously hate the fucking waiting part. I'll just cram pack life with fun and live it to the fullest because that's what I do.

So that brings me back to what am I going to do next??????? I'm hoping there's camping in my near future ;-)

All right y'all, thanks for listening to the ramblings of the girl who got shot :-*

-side note-
I saw a double rainbow today, it was huge, majestic and completely magical!

Why?

Why is it always that my mind goes back to the past and the way I wish things really would be? It's never gonna happen, you can't change history... But a girl can dream can't she? I can wish with all my heart that I get exactly what I want.. Truth is that won't ever happen. I know this. Life can't change. The things that have happened to me can't change. Nothing can ever go back to the way it was before..i sure wish it could.. Oh how I wish it could So hard. The future cannot compete with the past. It has to be entirely unexpected and amazing and when it's not... It's utterly disappointing.. I'm so fucking disappointed in things.. That's why it's making me wish so hard for things to be different but they won't ever be. That's life. You move on... Right? You give up the past hopes and dreams and wish for new and different.. But is it really better? Or just different? There are things I really wish I could change. Seriously would love to change. I think I need to go out and get away from my own mind for a bit..i can't seem to handle it.

Ocean adventures

I climbed up on the rock the day before and smoked a bowl overlooking the sea. It was calming and absolutely amazing! So proud of myself for making it up and then back down! I love this beautiful world we live in!

Weekend fun!

On a beach adventure with the hubby <3 we've gone exploring, watched random old movies, searched the shore for seashells, took a selfie with a seal, chatted with an elderly couple, fun times! Also had my "bestie" randomly try starting a fight with me, that's nice. I'm just gonna ignore that, seriously I'm having way to good of a time not to. Been very happy lately. Seems like all is going right so I'm gonna stay on cloud nine and enjoy mine! Have a nice day! Smooches

Sister I've always dreamed for...

Sister I've always Dreamed For...

When I was small
I wanted a sister
Someone to share
Those sisterly moments with

Waiting endlessly for something
That will never be
An only child
This is my life I lead

I wanted the love
The secret moments shared
The laughter, the games
Memories that will never be the same

My heart soared
Hearing of my half sister
My little sister to me
This was my dream

Raised apart our entire lives
Loving her because she's mine
Wishing, hoping for one day
Never understanding the adult way

Adulthood arrives
Introductions through friends
A love so strong
To be so destroyed

A brief few years
I felt such love, loyalty
How quickly things change
My heart saddened from the pain

Such hatred now
A distrust so deep
Lack of respect
Who are you to me?

She was once my dream
My little sister to me
All the hope and love
Cast aside so easily

I was foolish to be believe
That sisters were meant to be
Sometimes it's better
To live life sisterly free

Maybe, just maybe if...
If we had been raised together
Then maybe I would understand
The gift a sister could be...

I always wanted her
My little sister to me
How foolish this was of me
I never meant anything to her

It wasn't a dream
But a
Nightmare instead
My little sister to me

By: TheGirlWhoGotShot

So stuffing my face was not a good idea last night...

I feel sluggish. Ugh. Oh well. Ima down some water, smoke a bowl and go get coffee and then shopping!!!!!

Why......?
Because it's mother fucking spring break bitches!!! What! What! What!

Time to throw on some gangsta rap and get my spring breaking on! This weed is good. Like real good. Fuck yeah!

I seriously love that marijuana is legal in Washington state. I no longer have to worry when I go to buy it. I have so many fucking choices, that shit is ridiculous!!!! Off the fucking chain baby!!!! Right now I've got "Peppermint cookies" and "sunset sherbet" and both of them are fucking delicious. If you don't know, now you know.

I'm going in search of beach toys today so probably a ball. Lol that's really what I want is a ball. YaY Beach ball YaY

Have a nice day y'all! 

Can't stop stuffing my face

I'm just stuffing my face tonight watching some 'Golden Girls' :-P

Spring break has been fun so far!!!! Ok ok ok .k. I'm not in school. I don't have kids. Whatever! It's mother fucking spring break bitches!! Ima celebrate like a 17 year old about to graduate! Wooohooo!!!

My fun began with 80's movies and then onto campy young love, bikinis and party movies. I've done face masks and scrubs, lotions, zit zap stuff. Still need to paint my nails... Pink... Maybe turquoise... Who knows, we'll see what happens :-P

Went shopping, got my summer sandals, picked up snacks and food for our beach trip adventure in a couple of days. Also got more face masks and a new shower cap, it's pink and white.

Board games and kites are packed. Made a scavenger hunt for the beach... Wonder if we'll find anything else from Japan along our Washington coastline??? Maybe!

My creative side has popped out and I painted a flower watercolor picture the other night. I never know what I'm going to create until the paint touches the paper!

I've been reading. You should read 20 minutes a day :) today I've been reading 'adventures in space' it's short stories. I'm gonna get sucked into some kind of novel this week.. I just need to pick one :-*

Oh!!!! The TV series I'm a part of has finally aired it's first episode on live television!!! So awesome seeing my name on TV!!! If you want to check it out it's "Olympia in Obscura" on YouTube.

Anywho! Have a great night, I love you :-* and by you, I mean me because you must first love yourself before you can truly love anyone else  <3  love all of you too, even if I don't know you because we are all one race, the human race and humanity for me is compassion, love and smiles to all <3

Gun violence

The only real solution to gun violence is mental health.

Be kind to one another. We all live on this planet together so let's find a way to make it work. You're amazing even if I don't agree with you. You are a unique individual and that is awesome! Let's be good to each other and stop the violence. It's unnecessary.

If you're doing things that are bad for your life or harming your children, please just stop. Take a moment and look at the bigger picture... Is this really how you want to live? Don't you want to live your life and have fun and enjoy all the little things this wonderful planet has to offer?

Go out and make a difference! You can change somebody's entire life by being kind to them! So go! Have fun! Smile at strangers! Compliment people! Make each other feel good! Build each other up! Love yourself, you deserve it!

If you've done bad, stop and change yourself. You can do that. No one has to keep doing bad things. No one. You are in control of you, no one else. Get out and love yourself! And don't forget to take a selfie!

Smooches loveys :-*
~ TheGirlWhoGotShot

Will I be remembered...?

I write my heart out through social media... MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Blogger, Google+, Snapchat...I think that's in order-ish of which ones came first. Anywho, I've written so many things. Told fantastic stories on some. Jokes on others. Written about my real life experiences. Poured my soul out to the world. All through social media.

Some of my accounts are connected, however certain ones nobody even knows about. I use certain ones for certain things. Pretty much nobody knows about my Blog. And Twitter literally had a handful of people that actually know me. I keep it that way so I can vent or just say whatever the fuck I want without repercussion.

I wonder... If one day... In the future... If people will look back at my life, reading my memories, wondering what I was like or how out of date, historical this all is... I want people to know my life, I want my words to reach someone and mean something. I want to change the world. It doesn't mean it will happen while I'm alive but one day, I want to make a difference in someone's life. I want to inspire people to love their world and everything in it. Your life should be amazing, it's yours. No matter what happens life is one fantastic adventure. There are good and bad things that happen but so what, without one you cannot truly appreciate the other.

I'm fascinated with history. The lives lived. How far we've come. Where we'll go. What will happen. When? Learning so much of our past, I can't help but dream of the future... What will people be like? Are we still killing our planet or can we finally save it! I wonder how many styles have made comebacks throughout the years... I'll always love the 90's and by 90's I do mean the 1990's. I was born in 1978. I'm an 80's baby, so I'm super awesome ;-)

If you're reading this now, hi! If it's forever in the future, hi! Whoever you are.. Whenever you are... I hope you have a nice day! Go on an adventure! Get out into this world and enjoy your amazing life! You only get this one so make the very best of it even if you've been through horrible things because let's face it, life sucks sometimes but it sure is fucking amazing other times!

Sweet dreams y'all!
TheGirlWhoGotShot ~ Sabrina

Life can be so overwhelming...

Life really can be so overwhelming at times...

Sometimes it feels like no matter which direction I look, all I see is chaoticness. It's frustrating. It's overwhelming. It's irritating. It's life.

So many things going on.. Not sure what to do anymore... I just keep pushing forward and trying to be happy.. All I want is happiness.

My pain has been on overdrive the last couple of weeks... I take one step and it's fine, the next and it's not. I go to grab something and my hand just wont automatically grasp the item and I'll drop it. My neck is so tight I can barely look to the right, I have to turn my whole body to see. I'm sore. It hurts like hell. I don't tell anyone. I live in silent pain, suffering while you sit next to me as you only see the smile on my face and hear the stories and jokes come from my mouth. I'm constantly adjusting my leg, reason being it hurts so bad I could scream.. But I don't, I just move it again seconds later while my pain goes unnoticed. Nobody ever sees the hurt in my eyes... All they see is the smile on my face, never knowing I'm suffering so intensely right at that moment.

I do this because I want people to remember me for my happiness and love for life. Not for the pain that overwhelms my entire being and makes me scream in frustration. Sometimes, I literally scream out loud when I'm trying to do something and my physical problems hault me in my spot. It's frustrating just wanting to be happy and have fun and constantly being met with horrific pain. That's what happens when you get shot in a drive-by... Nobody tells you that tho...

After getting shot, all the focus is of keeping you alive...I get that. However, afterwards, there's no one to talk you through the hardships. People just wanna toss pills at you instead of working through the real issues. Physical pain meets mental anguish. It's exhausting and there's no real help from anyone on how to deal with it. I tell people I have PTSD and they have no idea what that means.

I don't need everyone to notice that I'm suffering, just those close to me... And most times those are the ones who notice the least. Always wrapped up in their own problems. I console, I care, I ask, I pay attention to their problems... But it's just not reciprocated. What happened to those that loved me so much they actually cared about me? It seems like the world is becoming less caring, less loving. It's sad.

I'm so good to so many people and so often people just do me wrong. It's like a bad joke at times. I mean seriously. My life is like a bad joke. Here you go happy girl... You wanna keep being happy no matter what life throws at you? Here's some more fucked up shit just for you! ... Oh... You're still smiling? Still having fun? ... Ok! Lets give you even more bad things.... Still happy? Well... Here's some more horrible stuff... -it's like it's trying to break me. I will not be broken! I will always look for the good in my everyday life, even when it seems like there is none.

Here's my ramblings, from the girl who got shot. Just another day in the life of me. I'm mostly just annoyed because I really did need at least one person to notice how much I was suffering and none of them did. I just want one person to know me so well and to actually care enough to see if I'm ok. But instead, I'm just going to keep smiling and having fun because even if the only person who truly cares is me, well then, that's the only person I need to worry about making happy. So I'm just gonna keep being happy even when I'm in pain and nobody else sees my suffering even tho it's right in front of their faces... But here, let me go out of my way to make sure I check on you and that you're OK...

Darth puppy!

She got a Darth Vader collar!

Love my purple hair!!!

Been having so much fun with hair color lately!!

Skating

Went skating tonight for the first time in a long time! It felt great! I was really wobbly tho but whatever, I just did a lap at a time, rested and went again!! YaY skating is always fun!!!!!

Coffee

I need coffee. I don't want it, I need it.

Coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee COFFEE