The truth

The truth is, I struggle every single day. I struggle with the physical ramifications and the emotional aftermath of being shot 3 times in a drive-by. No matter what I do, it is there. Whether it's in the back of mind or right in my face screaming in pain. It is hard. No one has been through my story, my life, my pain. I do not discount what others have been through, it is just not what I have been through.

The emotional baggage~ I believe, at any moment, I can be shot. This is a fact that has happened so it is my reality. I try my hardest not to let these thoughts run my life but sometimes, sometimes, there is nothing I can do. It's there. When I cross the street and a car is coming, I have to force myself not to turn around and run the other way. I have to face my fears and fingers crossed I don't get shot, again. When a child pop's a balloon, I relive being shot and can feel, just for a second, what it felt like when it happened. There are so many little things that, for me, are big things and will constantly remind me of that  horrific day.

The physical pain ~ it is there constantly. There is no relief, my body will never be the same. I wish I had realized that when it happened but it took years... I really thought I would get better. I won't. My knee hurts with every step. My hip aches and feels as tho it will pop out at any moment. My neck... Sigh... I can't turn it as much as I want, It headaches, it hurts.

Me ~ Even tho I've gone through all of this and I live it on a daily, I am happy and I have fun but no matter how much fun I'm having its still there and it will never go away.

Violence ~ if you are thinking of doing something like this to another person, don't. Stop and think. Life is a precious gift.

Healing ~ being there for another human being can be the only thing that person needs to heal their wounded heart.